If intimacy isn’t coming to both of you naturally, then you must set aside time for it. This may make it sound unromantic, but for many, it’s an intimate gesture.
Setting aside time for it may mean going on a staycation for a weekend or having a date night at your favorite restaurant. It can be as simple as going home earlier than usual and then tucking the kids in early.
Many couples find having a sex schedule works, so it’s worth a try, as well. You can talk with your partner to decide on a day that works for both of you. You must both agree that you will stick to it, no matter what.
That may mean refusing your friends’ invitation to go out that day or dropping the kids off at their grandparents’ so you can have time for yourselves. Scheduling it gives you time to take care of possible hindrances.
Sex doesn’t have to be spontaneous all the time. And having a schedule doesn’t make it any less romantic. The more you stick to your schedule, the more you’ll feel connected and desired.
If it doesn’t work, don’t worry too much about it. Other solutions might work better for you and your partner.
If it’s hard for you both to get into the mood, then create that mood yourself. Get away from the messy house and your screaming kids; plan a date night away from your stressors.
Alternatively, you can stay in the house and let your in-laws watch over the kids at their Dead Bedroom. Clean the house and put on some soothing music. Digital services like Spotify can help you as it has premade playlists you can use.
You can order take-out, but if you want to take it further, you can try to make a meal yourself. Dim the lights, bring out the wine or champagne, and light some candles.
This is only an example of what can create a romantic mood. You know your relationship best, and you should know what makes the other get into the mood. So, you can get creative and plan a whole date night around it.